sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
