okay pat passed out under dana's car
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
