just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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