Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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