i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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