bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
