So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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