so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
