we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
