whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
