fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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