Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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