the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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