Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
