i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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