Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
