i don't like sucking hair
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
