Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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