He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
