Someone shit on the floor
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
