why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
