The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
