In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
