Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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