That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's blow job season.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
