We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize