You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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