Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
home. puking in laundry basket.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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