Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
