i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize