I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
