How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
high people should be assigned attendants
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
