He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The power of my boobs compel you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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