i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
