so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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