I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
