we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
