Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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