Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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