We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
