Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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