I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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