Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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