My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
