So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
