Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
