soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
