It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So much rum. So many feels.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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