how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
how drunk are you?
Several
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
