Me too!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
