is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
