I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
