Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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