she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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