that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
