Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize