so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
