Duck Duck Cougar?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
