dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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