Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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