Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
