erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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