just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
