:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
