Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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