I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize