why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So. Much. Porn.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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