bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
