I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
