in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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